Ever heard about “the fear of failure”? You know, those little voices in our heads that too often hold us back? Well, that fear often comes from self-doubt. It paralyzes us and doesn’t even let us attempt to do things, because “we already know we’ll fail“.
A simple task can take hours and your inner critic keeps telling you that it’s not good enough.
Perfect example is when I was looking back on a blog post I wrote waaay back when and had said:
“Jumping into a new situation or trying something different can be scary. It’s not always as easy as some people make it look. Take this blog post for example, for the past 5 years, I’ve been debating whether or not I should even start a blog even though I’ve always wanted to. Who would want to read what I have to say? Will I get judged harshly? All of these thoughts and more floated through my mind until I realized that I was letting my fear get in the way of something I so desperately wanted.”
Granted I ended up scraping my trial blog, but what I realized was that self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. And if I would have let my fears get in the way, I wouldn’t be able to have this amazingly fulfilling vehicle to share weekly articles with y’all today.
Take away? Like Dorothy and those red magic shoes, we all have the power to overcome self-doubt.
Here are some ways to get you started.
HOW CAN SOMEONE OVERCOME SELF-DOUBT?
STOP THE COMPARISON GAME
Everyone is different and comparing yourself to others is just not fair to you or your potential, all of which gets snuffed out in the comparison game.
This is especially true because you never know what the person or situation you hold in high regard went through to be the example they put forth today.
Or, as I was taught, stay out of other people’s gardens cause the flowers may look beautiful but you just don’t know the story behind what your eyes first see.
YOU’RE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC
Guilty as charged! Most of the time, I expect myself to be an expert or dang near perfect at anything I try my hand at, even if it’s the first time I’m trying it. Yes, I know this makes no sense whatever, but that’s one of the cons of being a perfectionist. (Will have to write about that in a future post).
What have I learned from working myself into a tizzy? Embrace a learning mind and go slow. Try different things and see what works best for you. Proving to myself that I can do things out of my comfort zone and enjoy them is the best wisdom I can pass on. Besides, being too harsh on yourself won’t get you started it will instead get you in reverse!
UNDERSTAND THAT YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE JUST BECAUSE YOU FAILED
When you have a setback you may start viewing everything from a negative perspective as you tend to think that if one thing didn’t go as planned, then it’s all downhill from there—hence, there’s no point in continuing to take action—right? Wrong!
Oh Alice in Wonderland, you don’t have to spiral down the spinning tunnel. Stick out your foot and climb back out. You were made too amazing to let doubts rob you of blessings.
Setbacks happen to everyone who takes chances. Instead of punishing yourself, try asking:
- What is one thing I can learn from that situation?
- Can I apply that new knowledge to other aspects of my life for the better?
- What is one little thing I can do right now that will help me move forward?
- Was I (eventually) grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow?
You shouldn’t feel like self-doubt is a weakness, something you should hide from others or be even ashamed of. Self-doubt is a feeling, just like any other. We all have it, some people more than others, but we all go through it at some point in our lives. Truth is it’s okay, heck it’s natural to feel it.
Want some more self-improvement articles? Check out some of my other posts:
- Signs You’re Stressed AF
- Why We Don’t Keep New Year’s Resolutions and How to Stick to Them
- 3 Ways to Include more Self-Love in Your Routine
So well written, especially how we are our own worst critics. It’s best to take a step back and look at the big picture
Thank you so so much! Worst critic alert in full effect 24/7 for me ?. I’m constantly thinking about how I could be better than my best which is literally the unhealthiest thing to do. Looking at the big picture is such an important way to stay grounded, so I 100% agree!
I have so many doubts lately, also regarding starting my blog…worth it or not? Don’t know. It’s really hard for me to overcome all my doubts. Thanks for sharing this blog post, I’ll take it in mind from now on
Take it from someone who has vacillated starting a blog for nearly 12 years, take the plunge. It’s really nerve-racking and the thought of sharing your work with the world can be overwhelming…but you have to start somewhere right? I think the best advice I could give is when you have that brief f*ck it moment (when you’re just over everything) go for it!
So hope you start your blog and look forward to subscribing!
Such a hard thing to deal with!!! Impostor Syndrome is sooo real!!!! These are great tips!!!
I just started reading up on Impostor Syndrome and never realized how intertwined that was with feelings of self-doubt. Thinking back there are so many times when that pesky feeling snuck up on me. So glad you liked the tips!
Great post dear!
Such important words that we all need to be reminded of every once and a while. The comparison game is tough when SM is part of your job. I’m trying to stay in my lane!
Thank you so much! Social media for sure makes the comparison game harder! It’s so tough to switch that mindset!
This is what I’ve been facing with getting back to blogging. Especially comparisons! However, I’m learning to stay in my own lane and thrive the best way I know how.
I completely get that! Especially in the blogging world, it’s sooo hard not to compare yourself to everybody else. But you’re uniquely you and that’s what makes you special!
Agree with all. We should not doubt ourselves. It’s time to be kind to ourselves. Everyone is born to do it!
Here here! Petition to start a self-kindness campaign 🙋🏽♀️ It’s for sure a struggle to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others!
I’m definitely guilty of doing this but I’m trying to be kinder with myself
That’s such a great outlook/tip too! It’s the little wins and reminders of how awesome you are that help in the long run.
I am working on this. I know I always worry, and I need to stop it. Plus if it is a mistake, at least I learn something.
Chronic worrier here too! I feel ya! It’s so hard to stop isn’t it? Do you ever worry that you aren’t worried, lol ?! So true about learning from mistakes though!
I needed this today, thanks for the tips!
Aww, this makes me so happy! So glad these tips help! You got this girl!