The Fictional Boyfriend Tag

My work schedule is a mess, my to-do list is judging me, and naturally, I have decided that the best use of my time is to rank fictional men who have absolutely no idea I exist.

Priorities? Questionable. Taste in men? Debatable. Commitment to the bit? Unmatched.

If you’ve ever watched a television show and found yourself more invested in the love life of a fictional character than your own, welcome. You’re among friends.

There are plenty of fictional men who deserve a little appreciation, and I’m not about to let their fictional status stop me from making some very important romantic declarations. Some are sweet, some are brooding, some could probably benefit from several years of therapy, and at least one has the ability to save the world before breakfast.

And yes, I understand that these men are not real. Thank you for your concern.

So, without further ado, let’s get into the Fictional Boyfriend Tag. Because apparently, choosing just one fictional man is far too reasonable.

1. Most Romantic Boyfriend: Steve Rogers

Steve Rogers, my love. Captain America himself. The man who went from a scrawny kid with a big heart to a literal super-soldier and somehow remained one of the sweetest men in the Marvel universe.

Steve is loyal, thoughtful, protective, and the kind of man who would remember the little things. He would probably walk you home, make sure you ate something, and look at you like you personally invented sunshine.

Is he a little old-fashioned? Absolutely. Would I complain about being treated like a princess by a man who can literally throw a motorcycle? Absolutely not.

I just know this man would give you his jacket even if he were standing in the middle of a blizzard. And then he’d insist he wasn’t cold.

Sir. We can see you shivering.

Final verdict: Five stars. No notes. Somebody get this man a reservation for two.

2. Dark and Moody Bad Boy With a Good Side: Derek Hale

Derek Hale from Teen Wolf is proof that a man can communicate almost exclusively through brooding stares and still have an entire audience in a chokehold.

He is grumpy. He is emotionally guarded. He has approximately seventeen unresolved issues and a facial expression that suggests someone has personally inconvenienced him by breathing too loudly.

And yet.

Underneath all that leather-jacket energy is a man who cares deeply, protects his people, and would put himself in danger for the people he loves. Does he need to learn how to communicate his feelings? Yes. Would I volunteer to help him work through that? Unfortunately, also yes.

Listen, I never said my fictional boyfriend choices were a reflection of my commitment to emotional stability. Sometimes a man needs a hug, a therapist, and someone to tell him that growling at everyone is not a substitute for communication.

I volunteer as tribute. (The hug. I am volunteering for the hug.)

Final verdict: Emotionally complicated, suspiciously attractive, and entirely too easy to root for.

3. Paranormal Boyfriend: Dean Winchester

Dean Winchester from Supernatural. Where do I even begin?

This man hunts monsters, saves people, drives the most iconic car in television history, and somehow still finds time to make terrible jokes and flirt his way through a crisis. He’s sarcastic, protective, fiercely loyal, and has a soft side he tries very hard to pretend doesn’t exist. Naturally, that makes it approximately ten times more obvious.

Would dating Dean involve occasional demon attacks, questionable motel rooms, and the possibility of being dragged into a supernatural apocalypse? Probably.

Would he make sure you were safe, crack a joke to make you laugh, and put himself between you and whatever nightmare was approaching? Without hesitation.

I do have a few questions about the whole hunting-monsters-for-a-living situation, though. Specifically, could we perhaps discuss a career change? Something with health insurance and fewer near-death experiences?

No? Okay. I’ll pack a bag.

Final verdict: The leather jacket, the car, the sarcasm. I’m listening.

4. Boyfriend You’d Want to Tame: Klaus Mikaelson

Klaus Mikaelson from The Vampire Diaries and The Originals.

Hear me out…now, I need everyone to understand that I am not saying this man is a healthy romantic choice. I am saying that Joseph Morgan gave him a face, a voice, and an accent that make it very difficult to remember all the reasons one should exercise caution.

Klaus is centuries old, terrifyingly powerful, intensely possessive, and capable of turning an ordinary disagreement into an international incident.

But he is also artistic, deeply loyal to the people he considers family, and capable of loving with an intensity that could probably be detected from space.

The problem? His idea of conflict resolution is occasionally murder. So, perhaps we could work on that.

I would like to believe that with enough patience, affection, and a very firm set of boundaries, Klaus might learn that not every inconvenience requires a body count.

Would I survive the experience? Unclear.

Would the wardrobe be incredible? Almost certainly.

Final verdict: I can fix him. (Narrator: She could not, in fact, fix him.)

5. Your Soulmate: Clark Kent

Clark Kent from Smallville. Oh, Clark. My sweet, super-powered, Smallville-raised sweetheart.

There’s something incredibly appealing about a man who is strong enough to move mountains but gentle enough to treat everyone around him with kindness. Clark is compassionate, dependable, protective, and always trying to do the right thing—even when doing the right thing is the hardest possible choice.

He doesn’t need to be the loudest person in the room. He doesn’t need to prove how powerful he is. He just shows up for the people he loves.

And honestly? That’s the dream.

I want the kind of love where someone chooses you on the ordinary days, too. The quiet evenings, the grocery runs, the days when neither of you has anything particularly exciting to report. The kind of relationship where you feel safe enough to be completely yourself.

Clark would absolutely save you from a collapsing building, but I also think he’d listen to you explain the same problem for forty-five minutes and still ask if you wanted to talk about it some more.

Now, that’s romance. Also, can we talk about the flannel shirts? Because I have eyes.

Final verdict: Husband material. Soulmate material. Please report to the nearest Kent farm immediately.

6. The Boy You’d Venture Anywhere With: Rick O’Connell

Rick O’Connell from The Mummy. If we’re going on an adventure, I want a man who can handle himself in a fight, keep his head when everything goes wrong, and still manage to make me laugh while an ancient curse is actively trying to kill us.

Rick checks every box. He’s brave, resourceful, sarcastic, and just reckless enough to make the adventure interesting. He can navigate a dangerous situation, improvise when the plan falls apart, and somehow look good doing all of it.

Would I follow him into an ancient tomb? Maybe.

Would I ask approximately seventeen questions about the likelihood of surviving said tomb? Absolutely.

Would I still go if he gave me that smile and said, “Trust me”?

Unfortunately, yes. The man is fighting supernatural forces in the desert and still has time to be charming. I am only human.

Final verdict: Take me to Egypt. I’ll bring the sunscreen; he can bring the weapons. the Medjai chieftain and warrior tasked with protecting the ancient city of Hamunaptra and preventing the resurrection of the High Priest Imhotep. Because apparently one handsome man navigating an ancient Egyptian disaster just isn’t enough. 😂

7. The Boy You’d Elope With: Jamie Fraser

Jamie Fraser from Outlander. A Scottish Highlander with a fierce sense of loyalty, a strong moral compass, and a talent for making an entire audience forget what they were doing before he appeared on screen.

Jamie is devoted, courageous, intelligent, and willing to sacrifice an awful lot for the people he loves. He has the kind of romantic intensity that makes you want to throw your phone across the room and then immediately pick it back up to watch the scene again.

Would eloping with him be practical? Probably not.

Would there be historical complications, dangerous political situations, and a nonzero chance of having to flee somewhere on horseback? Almost certainly.

But if a man looks at you like you’re his entire world, suddenly the logistics start looking a little less important.

I would, however, like to request a modern bathroom, reliable Wi-Fi, and a brief explanation of why everyone in his century is constantly getting into life-threatening situations.

We can compromise on the rest.

Final verdict: Scotland, a wedding, and a man who would cross centuries for you. Sign me up.

8. The Boy You’d Be Stranded on a Deserted Island With: Tobias “Four” Eaton

Tobias Eaton, better known as Four, from Divergent.

If I am going to be stranded on a deserted island, I would like someone who can handle a crisis, think strategically, and remain calm when I inevitably start asking whether the island has a return policy.

Four is capable, observant, physically strong, and not easily rattled. He knows how to assess a situation and make a plan. These are qualities I would appreciate tremendously while attempting to survive on coconuts and sheer determination. He also has a softer side that he doesn’t show everyone, which is always a bonus.

Would he be building shelter while I complain about the bugs? Probably.

Would I eventually contribute something useful? Of course.

Would that contribution be morale support and reminding him to drink water? Let’s not rule it out.

And if we happen to develop a deep romantic connection while figuring out how to get rescued, well, I suppose stranger things have happened.

Final verdict: Survival skills, quiet confidence, and someone who probably won’t panic when I announce that I heard something moving in the bushes. Perfect.

9. The Boy You’d Friend-Zone: Eddie Diaz

Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1.

Now, this category is already testing my ability to distinguish between a fictional man I adore and a fictional man I would actually date.

Because Eddie Diaz? Really? Ryan Guzman in a firefighter uniform is not making this easy for anyone.

Eddie is dependable, protective, a devoted father, and the sort of person who shows up when it matters. He’s been through a lot, and there’s a tenderness to him that makes you want to root for him even when life refuses to give him a break.

He’s also handsome enough that I feel like the friend-zone label should come with an apology letter.

But for the purposes of this tag, Eddie is my guy friend. The one I can call when I need advice, the one who will tell me the truth even when I don’t want to hear it, and the one who will absolutely come over to help me move furniture before questioning why I own so many decorative pillows.

Would I appreciate his friendship? Without question.

Would I occasionally need to remind myself that this is the friend-zone category? Every five minutes.

Final verdict: You’re a wonderful man, Eddie. Unfortunately for this very specific exercise, we’re keeping it platonic. Please don’t ask me to explain this decision while wearing the uniform.

10. Most Badass Boyfriend: John Wick

John Wick. The Baba Yaga himself.

I feel like this category requires very little explanation, but I’m going to provide one anyway because apparently I have things to say.

John Wick is the man you want on your side when everything has gone spectacularly wrong. He is resourceful, relentless, and so capable that an entire room of armed men can become nervous simply because he has walked into it.

Does he have a complicated relationship with violence? Yes.

Would I recommend getting on his bad side? Absolutely not.

Would I feel reasonably confident if we were somehow caught in the middle of an action movie together? More confident than I would feel with most people, yes.

I would also like to point out that the man has a tragic backstory, impeccable suits, and an extraordinary ability to turn a bad day into a full-scale international incident. I am not saying this is the blueprint for a healthy relationship. I am saying that if someone threatens the person he loves, they should probably start making peace with their life choices.

Meanwhile, I will be somewhere nearby, asking if we can please have one peaceful weekend. Just one. No assassins, no car chases, no dramatic confrontations. Maybe brunch?

Final verdict: Terrifyingly competent. Immaculately dressed. Please let this man rest.

Final Thoughts

And there you have it: ten fictional men, ten very different categories, and absolutely no guarantee that I have learned anything about my taste in men.

We’ve got a super-soldier with a heart of gold, a brooding werewolf, a monster hunter with a smart mouth, a centuries-old vampire who needs several interventions, a literal superhero soulmate, an adventurer with questionable survival instincts, a Scottish Highlander worth crossing centuries for, a quiet and capable survivor, a firefighter who has been tragically assigned to the friend-zone, and an assassin who desperately needs a peaceful vacation.

A perfectly balanced group of men, if you ask me.

Do I have a type? Maybe.

Does that type include loyalty, competence, a soft spot for the people they love, and occasionally a concerning number of unresolved issues? Perhaps.

Am I going to examine that too closely? Absolutely not. I have fictional men to appreciate.

Now it’s your turn, tell me your picks in the comments! I’m always looking for another show to watch, another character to fall for, and another reason to pretend my real-life to-do list doesn’t exist.

And if your list includes a brooding supernatural man who desperately needs therapy, please know that you are among friends.

No fictional boyfriends were harmed in the making of this list. Several of them, however, need to work on their communication skills.

Who would make your Fictional Boyfriend Tag list?